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BABYLONIAN TIMES

SPLICED SPORTS

Australian scientists have begun using DNA samples from the country’s top sportsmen and women, in a bid to develop "designer athletes". According to the Sydney Daily Telegraph,a government- financed project has already identified two performance genes which provide power and stamina. The technology will allow experts to tell parents which sports their children could excel in and whether they have the genes that are most likely to produce sporting superstars.

David Wrisbrot, head of Australia’s Law Reform Commission, said that after a study of the "legal and ethical ramifications" of the research he found it entirely acceptable. "We have been using engineering to produce faster sail boats and better tennis rackets, so this is the way forward for athletes," he said. Coming soon: cheetah genes for super-fast sprinters, swimming teams with webbed feet, and llamaenhanced spitting contestants.


MONSANTO MONOPOLY

Take a look at the bastards fighting each other. Monsanto Co.’s domination of the biotech crop market is indisputable, but now Syngenta, the world’s biggest agrichemicals company and Monsanto’s bitter rival, has filed a lawsuit alleging that since the 1990s, Monsanto has "maintained and increased its monopoly power in multiple markets through a series of coercive tactics and exclusive dealing arrangements designed to keep out all competition". It alleges Monsanto has built up control over a majority of the foundation corn seed market in the United States and then structured deals with seed companies that sharply limit the ability of competitors to access enough foundation seed to bring new biotech traits to market.

"There are all these hurdles in front of us that we have to jump over in order to compete," said Syngenta in-house counsel Ed Resler. "How does a company like Syngenta compete with a monopolist like Monsanto?" We're in tears. Really


MAD ABOUT SPIN

Still in Australia, new research has revealed a link between corporate media journalists and schizophrenia Professor David King from the University of Melbourne says there is already evidence showing some readers can become psychotic when they read spin from prominent mainstream corporate media journalists, especially when they blatantly lie. He says the latest research shows if people with particular vulnerabilities read the corporate news, it can trigger more serious problems because their corporate journalists spin more lies more often. "About one in 20 people with schizophrenia might never become psychotic if they had never read corporate media spin that contained blatant lies," he said. "From the medical point of view, I believe that it’s really important that the potential medicinal value of the truth is not lost". Told you it was good for you. Stick with the alternative press!

 
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