The following are the rules for the Corporate Watch game, Monotony. The board and pieces can all be found in our printed issue.

Aarrgghh!, the MONOTONY!
We turn the tables on the corporations, with MONOTONY, a game that parodies the corporate-controlled media's race towards
banality. Players buy up media opportunities - from cheapo flyposting to the Olympic Games, from TV to newspapers.

What you will need:
Monotony board (pages 6-7)
Brain cell counters (page 10). Each player starts with 1500 brain cells (divided up into 2 each, 500bc/100bc and 50bc; 6 each 20bc and 5bc; 5 each of 10bc)
Player counters (page 12)
Dumbing down counters: sex and violence (page 12)
Player markers (see below)
Pair of dice

Each budding Murdoch starts off as a young executive, fresh out of business school, with a certain amount of brain cells. In order to acquire media they must sell-out by using their brain cells to buy up a media opportunity - for example, BBC news, or the control of billboards. When another player lands on your property they are bored and bamboozled by your soulless corporate-controlled media and lose brain cells - which you take and use to increase your media empire.
Dumbing down happens after a set of spaces is bought; you have taken a controlling stake in the company! The new owner can
then add extra sensationalist nonsense in the shape of sex and violence. When bought, one of the appropriate counters is laid on the space, and the brain cell loss is immediately increased.

How bad is it doctor? These are the brain cell penalties for landing on a media space:

(Cost to buy) penalty for landing on, with the addition of
one, two, three or four dumbing down counters.
(60) Internet/Email/Porn Spam 5 - 10, 30, 90, 160
(60) 0900 number late night text/Chat/Flirt lines
5 - 20, 60, 180, 320
(200) News services (BBC News, CNN; Fox News, ITN)
one owned: 25
two owned: 50
three owned: 100
four owned: 200
(100) Sponsor Croyden FC 5 - 30, 90, 270, 400
(100) The Croyden Advertiser 5 - 30, 90, 270, 400
(120) Croyden Local Radio (CLR) 10 - 40, 100, 300, 450
(140) Advertise in Glamour (Housewives' favourite)
10 - 50, 150, 450, 625
(140) Advertise in Nuts (Lads Mag) 10 - 50, 150, 450, 625
(160) Advertise in Hello! 15 - 60, 180, 500, 700
(150) Sponsor a Sportstar (round up for odd numbers)
one owned: The number rolled, times four
two owned: The number rolled, times ten
(180) Sponsor a Sunday Daily Mail Special offer insert DVD
15 - 70, 200, 550, 750
(180) Sponsor the generic channel movie of the week
15 - 70, 200, 550, 750
(200) Mid week beer advert 30 sec spots
15 - 80, 220, 600, 800
(220) Advertise on Lifetime TV 20 - 90, 250, 700, 875
(220) Advertise on Musak TV 2018 - 90, 250, 700, 875
(240) Advertise on Channel 5 20 - 100, 300, 750, 925
(260) The Grauniad 25 -110, 330, 800, 975
(260) The Sunday Panorama 25 -110, 330, 800, 975
(280) The Thunderer 25 - 120, 360, 850, 1025
(300) Manchester United FC Football shirt sponsorship
25 - 130, 390, 900, 1100
(300) Michael Schumacher Sponsorship deal
25 - 130, 390, 900, 1100
(320) Tiger Woods Sponsorship deal
30 - 150, 450, 1000, 1200
(350) Sponsor The World Cup 35 - 175, 500, 1100, 1300
(400) Sponsor The Olympics 50 - 200, 600, 1400, 1700
When you have lost all your brain cells, you have lost your
marbles, and must do a Maxwell. The last surviving media
mogul is the winner!